Don't Be Afraid to Turn Left

I used to be afraid to try new things. Traveling to a place I’d never been before gave me incredible anxiety. I would plan for days prior, the trip filling me with dread. I began to cope by arriving early to things, giving myself plenty of time to get lost along the way. If I had to be somewhere at 9 am, I would leave an hour early, even if it was only a twenty minute trip. I was so afraid of getting lost, being late or doing it wrong.

These fears weren’t necessarily unfounded. I did get lost a lot. If there was a wrong way to go, I took it. If there was a right turn, I would take a left. I had a special gift for getting myself as lost as possible. This was before the invention of GPS or Google Maps. Eventually MapQuest was helpful, but before that I had to rely on paper maps and my own sense of direction to figure things out. I once ended up one hundred miles away from my sister’s house because I made one wrong turn.

This anxiety wasn’t isolated only to driving; it was anything I had to reason through, any time I needed to try something new or make my own plan. New recipes, projects and experiences filled me with dread. My bipolar disorder, at the time undiagnosed, made it difficult to slow down my thoughts long enough to comprehend a paragraph or picture. It paralyzed me with fear for many years.

Fast forward to my late forties, when I was officially diagnosed and began treatment. The treatment helped quiet my brain, allowing me to slow my thinking down and work on things at my own pace. Now, after years of counseling, a daily medication regime, hard work, and the grace of God, I find myself able to do things I never could have before. I have the patience for weeding, for working in my garden and for sitting quietly, watching my flower grow. My sense of direction and driving has even improved, although I still occasionally take a wrong turn.

The anxiety I felt when trying new things has lessened and in some cases disappeared, and I am able to jump in to trying new things. One of my newest hobbies is trying new recipes, to be bold and make things with the vegetables from my garden that I have never made before.

These seemingly normal, ordinary things, to me are a miracle. 

So now when life give me cucumbers, I make pickles. I enjoy making bread & butter pickles. I can make dill pickles, but I don’t very often. We grow the smaller pickling cucumbers so they are ideal for this task.

          

Over that last few years I have tried several recipes. A hybrid of a few of them has become my favorite. In the past, I would never deviate from a recipe. But I have learned that as long as I maintain the proper sugar and vinegar proportions, and use proper canning techniques, I can add spices and other things to the brine as I choose. I can also choose to how I process the cucumbers. I have found cold packing gives me a cruncher chip and prefer this method over boiling. 

Relish is a great addition when making pickles. Homemade relish is a big hit with hot dogs or brats. When I make relish, I use a light hand on the food processor – mine tends to grind the cucumbers quickly and I prefer a coarser chop.

You can really pickle just about anything. Pickling preserves the item and gives food a certain zing when added to recipes. Don’t be afraid to try out recipes. We truly have nothing to lose. You know, the bible tells us to “fear not” 365 times! Don’t be afraid, try new things. You can always start over if you make a mistake.  

It’s ok to take a left, maybe you will see something you never saw before.